SMETHPORT, Pa. (AP) - Talk about the slow wheels of justice. A man was arrested on a 23-year-old bench warrant that he said he thought was taken care of years ago.
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A would-be robber left two Jersey City banks empty-handed yesterday when tellers at both refused to comply with his demands for cash, police said.

He fled North Fork Bank on Ocean Avenue just before 11 a.m. after a teller told him the bank didn’t honor hold-up notes, police said.

Then, about a half-hour later, he walked out of Washington Mutual, at Sip and Bergen avenues, after a teller there lectured him on not being able to read a sign on her drawer that said, “no cash,” police said.
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Parents could be paid to get their children to cycle to school rather than take the bus under new plans to help tackle obesity.

HAGERSTOWN, Md. (AP) - French fries doused with oven cleaner were served to two patrons at a Hagerstown Suns game, the former owner of the minor-league baseball team has acknowledged.
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PORT RICHEY - The tale Donald Donley tells could have come from a horror novel. Pet birds strangled by human hands. Drinking water poisoned with motor oil. He has no proof, but he thinks he knows who did it: His own mother.
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DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) - As crimes go, this one was for the dogs. According to police, James Clay had the munchies early Friday morning so he headed for the hotdogs at a local convenience store. Although his craving appeared satisfied, there was a little problem - he decided to overstuff his bun.
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